October

by Andy Wagner

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1.
Revivals 04:44
I had my revival On the darkest day Maintained my survival When we came face to face I just couldn’t say it So I bit my tongue I’ve known you were in trouble Ever since I was young Because we all become somebody new Every time the money comes through Here we are in our old age But I don’t know you now And I don’t owe you anything I once tried to cast you To the bottom of the sea I know you’re my blood but It never mattered to me You wear many faces You live high on the hill Nothing’s gonna bring back The dream you killed Call it out how ever you may You said you taught the devil to play It’s just a job, we all get paid But I don’t know you now And I don’t owe you anything I hit the crossroads With nothing left to spare I knew the train was coming But I didn’t know from where I never looked back And it calmed my mind It was another revival In a different life
2.
Need You Now 03:34
I don’t believe he’s coming No I don’t believe I can’t wait around for someone I’ve never seen I’m holding a light up to it I’m holding a light I’m deep in the caverns of My darkest mind I need you now To calm me down To speak to me one more time I’m not losing it But I’ve seen the end And I can’t relive This life again Thunder and lightning tell me You’re still around You got your eye on Every deal going down I had my faith chain working I had my faith But father I must confess It’s about to break I could hear you in the second line I could see you in their swollen eyes I took shelter from the storming skies And I hope today the light will shine I don’t believe he’s coming No I don’t believe I can’t wait around for someone I’ve never seen
3.
Annie 04:16
Running through the day Running through the night Running through my dreams with you Somewhere in the past Somewhere in the future too Hold on to the light Hold on to the love Hold on to the faith you bring It’s enough to pull us through Annie won’t you help me now I’ve fallen all the way back down And I can’t get out on my own I never thought I’d be the one To lose you in the setting sun Or to leave you there alone All the city lights Burning in my mind God I’ve got to get back soon Holding back time Holding back tears it’s true I can see the signs I can see the stars I can see what’s lost in you You should know, I feel it too I don’t want to let you down I don’t want to feel this doubt Tell me how, tell me how to believe Take me to the other side Take me to another life Tell me how, tell me how to be free Tell me where to go Tell me who to be Tell me what you need from me I could hold the line I could pull the weight for you There will come a time We’ll look back on this life And ask each other when we do Was it ever really true?
4.
Soon 04:27
Tell me where you think you’re going How ya gonna get there now? It's funny how the days are flowing One becomes the next and now I could use a little light to help me Find my way back home I would even take a smile from someone Who I don’t even know I’m sleeping when the sun goes down I wake up when I hear the sound Of echoes from the other room You’re nowhere to be found So how long should I wait around? I thought you said you’d be back soon I think I’m losing my mind And I might just let it go Whoever I was before is someone You no longer know I call you but you’re still not there You vanished like a breath of air Nothing’s good until it’s gone Never knew how much I cared I admit that I was scared And I know now that I was wrong I’ll keep the fire burning So you can follow the smoke I’m not that far away So don’t you give up hope
5.
I stood alone On top the mountain The rain came down A holy fountain Ever since it’s often been a dream of mine There was a song And we were dancing We sang along The whole time laughing Ever since it’s often been a dream of mine Don’t make me wake up now My head is buried and my heart’s still up inside the clouds Just close your eyes and come and join my in these dreams of mine I heard your voice Deep in the valley You felt so close You were all around me Ever since it’s often been a dream of mine All this time I’ve been waiting For these dreams to come true, to find you The captain called The ship unveiled He mapped our course We set our sails Ever since it’s often been a dream of mine
6.
In The Light 02:32
Can you see? Can you see me in the light? Did I die? How’d I come into this life? It was only yesterday… I know I remember time, it moved so slow I can hear the sound of ringing bells and falling rain I believed I believed but I was wrong I was saved I was saved but now I’m lost All my life I was faithful And I followed you through the fire But then you disappeared in the flames I was your child I was helpless I was hungry and now you’re gone I am an orphan with no name Take me now Take me now without a fight Real love Real love will never die credits
7.
Walk me through another ending Tell me how the story goes Even if we're just pretending No one ever needs to know Cause lies are going to find a reason It doesn't matter where we try to hide We could run away forever But we're really not the running kind I've been worried about my brother But I don't know what I can say Cause every word is just another Chance for him to fall away So please don't ever do Anything you don't want to Because it's best for me If everything you do is true Even if it means you'll lose me too I told you I walk in circles I begin where I will end Even though I know I love you I can see too far ahead
8.
It’s you I love Every time I say I was meant to be alone and unafraid No one knows What it means to be Someone else inside of someone else’s dream Every time I pretend There’s no voice on the other end I become a ghost And you’re the one I miss the most If I was ever leaving I’ll be back soon You took the fall To spare my pain You know it’s bad when all the others look away There wasn’t time To say goodbye But you were with me When I let go of the light I can’t wait I want to run I want to be there by the time October comes The falling leaves And silver skies Take me back to when you came into my life
9.
I could spend my dying life Doing nothing and be alright But something’s wrong here And I know you feel the same In a world where nothing’s true You see me but I can’t see you You can make it But I don’t play that game I see right through Whatever’s left of you With your painted face And your second takes I won’t say I told you so There’s my sister and mother too Standing right in front of you Go ahead and look them In the eye You are nothing if not afraid Of being someone you can’t escape Who will answer On the day you die? We will all bow down When the kingdom comes There will be no sound From the soldier’s drums I won’t say I told you so This might be the last time we’re free This might be the end I’ve known you in so many ways But I’ve never known You to be afraid Doors are shuttered The streets are dead We didn’t die but we slowly bled This is our chance To breath the life back in

about

On January 1st, 2020, I committed to write, record and release one song each month for the entire year. At that point the novel coronavirus was only a whisper in the headlines and was still a month away from being declared a global health emergency. By the end of February, most of us were locked down and confined to our homes for many months to come.

This had a significant impact on this record as I was forced to make it in the basement of my home in Denver, Colorado under quarantine for the remainder of the year. Thankfully all of the collaborators credited in these liner notes also had home recording setups and were able to contribute from their homes in Chicago and New York City. I am so grateful for their help and long time friendships.

credits

released April 27, 2021

See individual songs for credits and contributions from Michelle Carreon, Joshua Dumas, Adam Przybyla, Samuel Stiles and Andy Wagner

Cover Photograph - Andy Wagner
Graphic Design - Joshua Dumas

Special Thanks To:
Annie, Mom, Dad, Luke, Sarah, Babs, Jackson, The Robertson Family, Mark Benson, Michelle Carreon, Joshua Dumas, Adam Przybyla, Samuel Stiles, Patrick Wang, Casey, Matt, Unk, Jill, Liz, The Brotherhood Of The Traveling Robe

All songs © Andy Wagner 2021

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